Twice the Funny

A friend told me this joke about a man whom no one really liked. For years, he made life hell for his co-workers, subordinates and his family.

“Do you know what they found when they did a MRI scan on his brain?” my friend asked.

Knowing my friend, I smiled in anticipation of his humorous answer.

“When they checked his left brain, they found nothing was right. And when they checked his right brain, nothing was left. That’s why he’s such an unreliable fool.”

Nothing was right: Nothing was correct as normal as it should be.

Nothing was left: There was no remainder.

LOL. HAHAHAHA.

Now, meet Mary;

¨       Mary took a ruler to bed so she could know how long she slept.

¨       Mary stared at an orange juice in a carton for 10 minutes because it said ‘concentrate’.

¨       Mary put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind.

Step in the world of science;

                Atom A: I think I lost one of my electrons.

                Atom B: Are you positive?

Parenting thing;

                When his pregnant wife had her labour pains and was ready to have their baby, Michael drove his wife to Pizza Hut. WHY??? They promised free delivery.

Ladies, do prepare to meet someone like Ron;

                Ron will throw this sort of riddle to be solved.

“He took me from a bar. He took me in his car. He took my top off. He puts his lips on mine, I didn’t mind. Who am I?”

                The answer was of coz a bottle of wine or juice or coke.  Before you answer, sidestep his riddle and give this question instead.

“Guess this first. You’re always behind, but you’re clever. People think they can wipe your products off you and take advantage of you but you know better. Who are you?”

                Walked away before he could answer, you don’t wanna see his face when he figured out that the answer is “SMART ASS!”

Adapted from The Star/Wednesday/29 December 2010